Think Fast

Oh em gee, another song? Whawhat?

Okay, yeah, not a shocker. I cant stop. Songs are like my drug. Whatever.

Sooo, this one is just a little diddy i did last night and finsihed this morning. Its cute...To me at least. Then again...My oppinion cant be trusted as much lately. But whatev.

here goes.



Verse 1:

How far? Do i have to run to
To prove. That i really love you

How much. Do i have to give
Do i have to give
for you
To give back.

How long? Until i understand it
When you. Say that i should forget.

How much do you think that I can ta-ake.

Prechorus:

Think fast. Think think faster.
Think fast. Think think faster.

Chorus:

Dont try.
Dont lie.
Dont sugar coat it.
I can handle the truth.

Dont hide.
Dont cry.
Dont spare my feelings.
Baby its not like you.


[to care]

Verse 2:

Those nights. When everything seemed perfect
Those days. That you said it was worthless.

The way. you change your mind.
pretend that I'm
The one to blame.

To me. It looks like we were both just.
Crazy. To love to begin with.

We should know.
Its always the same.

[prechorus]

[chorus]

Think fast. Think fast. THink fast. Think think fast.

You almost make me feel
Like i could have it all

You give me hope
No matter how false.

It may have been.
I wouldnt trade it.

THink faster. THink faster. Think. THink.

Think fast. Think faster.
THink fast. Think think fast, kid.
Doesnt take a genius to tell
That this is madness.

To try
To believe.

Whatever helps you breath.

[chorus]

Dont think.


Love it.

I quit my job.

That job sucked ass and the managers are bitches. I dont even care. They wont listen to me. They called me a liar. Fuck them. I'm done. If i need money ill get a new job. A better job. One thats half way decent. One that i can tolerate. Ugh.

I so dont need lectures either. I know im a failure at life in general. I dont need you (coughfuckingfamilycoughcough) to tell me that. Thats not how you inspire someone. Telling me im just like my mother only pisses me off. Ill be a bum to spite you.

FUCK LIFE RIGHT NOW

Nothing is going right.

I cant wihihinnnnn. D':

-sobsob-

but whatever, that job was more hassle than it was worth. Now i can get my hair crazy and get as many piercings as i want. So ha. I win in my own way. I have the money i need to get my room done. Thats all i care about. And you know what? I cant still get singstar. ^^

Wal-mart can suck it.

Just A Little Something I Found...

And I thought it was cute and Oh So True.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

A Pointless Blog With Purpose.

Okay, so, this is probs the last blog from me for a bit. Tomorrow I empty out my room, so I willn't (yeah, Willn't) have access to a compy for about a week or so. Sooo, yeah. If anyone wants to know why Im gone, thats it. Ifs you wans talk to meh, callz dawg.



Umm, hmm.



I had a blast with JenJen and the asian saturday night (and a good portion of sunday morning). We watched porn. Cheesy 80's porn, FTW. ^o^ I wont mention some of the other things we did. Lets just say, i have a litte more Jesus in my life thanks to them. <3>



Im totally getting SingStar Pop next paycheck. No lie. Defi need that game. I love kareoke! THat is Jessica's dream come truuuuue. I cant waitttt.



Speaking of, i need to go get my paycheck...>.> No one is ever in though, and im afraid of most members of manegment. Q.Q 'Specially July. Shes one scarry man-lady. Q,Q



Cleaning my room this morning was an interesting thing. I found clothing and shit i havent seen since like...Middle school and earlier. Its crazy. OMG, i have a gold shirt. I know right? Freaking sweet.



I also found some hot pink pants that are so cute. once i can fit into them (itll happen, one day, if i dun hang out with Jen and Brookesany so much (Damn diet killing icecream buying SOBs)) I am gonna wear them all the time.



So, im defi getting snake bites onces im done with walmart. I want them. They are SOOOO cute...Q.Q Damn my job and their lack of...whatever the hell it would be for them to let me have visible piercings. ....>.>grrrrrr.



So, come the new year im redoing my hair. Imma cut it a bit, add some new colours and junk. Make it all spiffeh. idk exactly what im gonna do with it, cuz im not entirely sure if the idea i have now is actualy gonna work. But lets hope it does. Cuz it will be hella sexeh. But even if it doesnt, im so sexy enough to make up fr it. WHat what? WURD



I dun even know what im saying anymore...>.>



Right now, i just wanna get my room done so i can get a heater in this bitch,. Its so fucking cold. dude, its so bad, my nipples hurt. Yeah, i know. ridiculous. Its not fun anymore. Why i ever used to like winter is beyond me. I like spring, where its nice and warm. Not chilly, not torrid. Just,...Nice. FUCK winter and summer. Autumn is ok. But his is sucky. Snow should be warm. Damn it.



oh my me! My chocolate Emo should be coming back very soon! (if he is already back and failed to call me, so help me god i will never even look at his penis again) Im so excited. ill make him the first victem of my pimp lair. Mwaahhahahahaha.



I think the game has ended. True colours are being shown.



I need more cute underwear, Like, seriously. I think im just gonna make a blog about the underwear i want. I love undies. Imma do it. One day. -looks dreamily off into the horizon-





SO, im sitting here in the middle of the night reading the back of my water bottle and a thought occred to me...If its supposed to be PURIFIED WATER. Like, JUST water, why the HELL do they add shit to it? Desnt that kinda defeat the purpose? I will never understand. Its not to preserve it cuz water dont go bad (omg, my grammar there scared me) its to add TASTE...>.> Water isnt supposed to have TASTE and bottled water tastes icky anyway...>.>WTH. i give up.



Okies, now im just rambling aimlessly. I really should try to go to bed since i cant really do anythig now while my family is asleep (cleaning my room is a very loud task) and if i stay up now and wait until daylight to start cleaning then ill be sleepy my like 5 so ill crash out then wake up at like 3am again and be stuck. I need to use as much of my time off that i can. Soooo, yeah. i think ill try my bestest to fall asleeeeeeeep.



Nightynight blog peoples



~rei out~

Wow. Cant beleive i have 50 blog posts...doesnt seem like it. Time sure flies when you're being an angsty teen, huh?

But whatever.

Right now...Im SUPPOSED to be cleaning my room...BUT, i am a terrible procastinator (and speller, evidentally) and i am instead sitting here posting a pointless blog...>.> hehe...yeah.
I really dont know what to blog about. theres been a lot going on lately, but i dun feel like writing it all out at the moment. Yey for lazy. xD

hmm, tomorrow i get to go and buy a pink fuzzy bath robe (YEY) and yarn and a chair. For my room. Yey! Im so excited. That chair is a furry beast. I cant wait to rub my nekkid body all up on it. (wait...what?) my room (AKA the PIMP LAIR) is going to be fantastic. I cant wait. serious...But, oddly enough, i cant drag myslef up to clean said room so that i cant start remodeling...Gah, damn it. Ill getthere. As soon as im done with my mindless ranting here, ill get working on that. lol.

I think my internet just died...gdi, if i have to go back and rewrite all this im going to fucking cuta bitch...D: (EDIT IN: Yeah, it died. I had to copy/paste it back...><

I def need to buy a new computer, I think that will be my next project money wise...If i keep my job that is. I honestly have no clue if im holiday help or permanant. Oh well, guess ill find out come january huh.

Heath Ledger has the most beautiful eyes. ( i was watching THe Dark Knught last night and was like fangirling to my cousin about how lovely they were) I miss him. If i ever create a time machine (its a work in progress) i am SO going back to save him. Imma kick Mary-Kate Olsens ass. Most def.

I UPDATED THE PROMISE HE KEPT!!! OMG. After being gone for over a year (last update oct 8, 2007) i finally posted chapter 5 of my fanfic, Im soooo proud of myself. ^0^ And my readers dont completely hate me! thats right baby, Reiuki2 is back!!! mwahahahahahaaaa. (www.fanfiction.net/~reiuki2 Just in case youre interested in giving them a read. -hinthint-)

Im going to *attempt* to put one of my songs to music...But dont hold your breath...fist i have to find batteries to my keyboard..(which will take a good month at least) THEN i have to gain musical talent...Q.Q Dam nme and my lack of musical skillz! D:

I discovered a few things:
1) My cat likes Wheat Thins
2) Im a very vengeful person
3)I never fell outof love
4) Im having a midlife crisis at 16
5) Im writing songs like crazy...>.>
6) Wal-Mart=SATAN
7) I REALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM BUT IDONT WANT TO WALK THAT FAR.
8) Ive been out of school for over a MONTH and i am reallty starting to feel it...Q.Q
9) Dolls are creepy and amazing at the same time
10)My room is like...scarry messy right now...Im surprised it hasnt eaten me yet
11) Envy is a beast and i seriously dont know why i ever fell out of the fandom. Sorry Snarry, Rei is back in more ways than one.
12) This list is completely pointless.
13) I have a random tape measurer on my desk...I have no idea why...(<.<)
14) Its really really cold in winter. Iowa sucks.
15) This list isnt getting any less pointless.
16) My sleep paterns are crazy.
17) I HAVE BUBBLE WRAP
18) I havent watched RENT in forever...I really should. great movie.
19) I think my sex drive has died. Im not as horny as usual. (-sobsob-)
20) This list was only supposed to be a few things...
21) I cant stop wrting this list! D:

OKAY, list is done...FOR NOW AT LEAST.....>.>

-leaves to go to the bathroom before she explodes-

Back! yey.

Okay...Um...lets think of some more things to post...

Hmmm

-thinking-

=crickets chirping=

>.>

yeahhhh

OH! I know!

im going to be doing a web show with Charlie (DUN worry, White Chocolate and Karamel is still guing to happen. the Panty Line thing ill be doing with him will be more music heavy, not as sexy as Time Traveling Detectives. ;)) We're going to sing and stuff. We're doing covers of some songs. So far we've got That Green Gentlemen by PATD and Through Glass by Stone Sour. MAYBE here we go again by Paramore. Idk. I like that song so i guess well see. And ill keep you updated on that.

I haevnt played Harvest Moon in ages. D: WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME!?!?!? -sobs heavily in corner of woe-

HIKA CHAN IS COMING TO VISIT ME SOOOOOOON. IM SO EXCITED!!! I havent seen her since Summer Program. I cant wait. Imma kiss her.. Imma kiss her hard, LOL

Is it weird that i have my own songs stuck in my head? o_O

I cant beleive its already close to the end of the year. Dx It doesnt seem like it. OMG, IM ALMOST 17! Im getting so OLD. wahhhhh....O_O This cant be happening, IM TOO YOUNG TO BE OLD...>_< I think im gonna cry, Q.Q

Would you fuck me? Id fuck me. Id fuck me hard. xD CLERKS 2, best movie ever.

Yesterday, i learned almost every word to Kokomo...O.o Dont even ask.

*sings* Imma get a strobe light. -dancing-

Im running out of things to say....

Oh well.

Untill next time

-raises wine glass full of V8- To 50 more emo blog posts! Hurah!

Ja!

~rei out~

One More Example...

My internet was down all of last night, so I spent the time I would have been online, on Paint. And this is the outcome,

I think this only goes to prove that i have no life whatsoever. But hey, its kinda cute, i suppose...

:D

This Is What Happens...

When Jessica gets bored.

Like...extremely bored.

And she has nothing better to do to pass the time, so she plays on Microsoft Paint all night.

Yeah.

Holidays Suck...

'Nuff said.

So, this is the basic idea for my room. Very basic. Im thinking about adding some stars and junk.

but yeah.

god damn it

Blogger is being fucking difficult and somehow i ended up with this lame ass template when i want a sexy one! This is fucking ridiculous. It wont let me upload my new background. It keeps saying there's an error.

D: Imma cut a ho.

Smile: Part 1

He sat there, not moving, not blinking. Just staring. Staring aimlessly at a spot on the pale blue carpet. All she could really see was a white dot amid the sea of blue, but then again she could never see things the same way as him. Alex was always much deeper than her other friends; impossible to read. Like he always had secrets, but even he didn't know all of them.

Broken wasn't exactly the word she wanted to use to describe him, but really it was the only one that came to mind.

She shifted a bit, trying to catch his attention even though she knew she already had it. He might not be looking at her, but he was hanging on her every movement. Her reaction.

To what, he didn't know. He hadn't said anything. Just showed up at her house about 20 minutes ago and sat there. Not speaking, He didnt even give her so much as a hello.But she didn't mind. It wasn't the first time and she knew it wouldnt be the last. Ever since she moved here nearly a year ago alex had been showing up at random for no apparent reason. In fact, the closest thing to an excuse for his presence was about the third time this happened. All he had said was "I just wanted to see you." and she had never questioned him since. She believed him. THat his reasoning could be so simple. That was just Alex.

And it was part of the reason she loved him.

Alex and Jamie had been friends for about three years. He had introduced her to Jordon, her boyfriend for the past two years, along with most of her friends now. When she'd moved here she had left many people behind, but alex had filled their spot. He was the first one to accept her. He made her feel like she had a place here, through all her doubts. He'd been her first real friend. And she loved him.

Another few minutes passed and she grew bored. Not uncomfortable; she never felt uncomfortable around Alex. Just bored. Normally he would've started to talk by now. But tonight it felt like he was waiting. On what she didnt know. Permission perhaps? But that was ridiculous. Alex never needed persmission and he wasnt one to ask for it. Another fact she loved about him. This silence however, she did not love.

"Well." she began, wiping her palms on her jeans as she stood. "I was just about to make me some tea. You want a cup?"

For the first time that night he looked her in the eye and gave his head a ghost of a nod before returning his gaze to the spot on her carpet.. It was unsettling. Alex wasnt usuallly this quiet. THere had been times when she had WISHED that he would be quiet. But now that he wasnt speaking or bouncing around, she realized just how much she missed his voice. How she found herself willing him to talk. To make a sarcastic comment or make fun of her (in a completely lovable way, of course.). To do SOMETHING.

But all he did was stare at the floor like a perfect little statue. A fallen angel at his best.

Giving him one more careful look--he hated to be stared at--she found her way to the kitchen, automatically reaching for her cupboard and pulling out two cups. the matching cups that they always used. Dark green with small yellow details. Honestly, they were the ugliest mugs she had ever laid eyes on, but Alex thought them to be precious and demanded that they use them whenever he was around. She didnt know exactly when she stopped fighting him or when those cups were only for him. She never used them for anyone else. Not Jordon. Not Kalie. No one. Only Alex. THat was something they had. Something she would keep sacred no matter how much Jordon laughed at her.

Alex always said he was jealous because he didnt have a special cup. He was probably right. It seems like something Jordon would do.

As much as she loved him, he was still very much a child at heart.

She was just setting the water on to boil when she heard her stereo start up. She grinned to herself as music filled the house and she was thankful for the noise. Noise was more like Alex. Noise she could handle.

She heard him flip through a few songs before he settled on one and let it play. It wasnt her favourite song on the CD, that much was certain, but Alex loved it, and she couldnt say no to him.

It only took her 3 minutes to figure out that he'd set her CD player on repeat and after about four reditins of the song the tea was finshed and she was ready to go dump it on him. Those thoughts quickly disapated the moment she walked into her living room. Alex was not up jumping and dancing around like he should have been. Not shaking his non-existant booty to the beat. No, he was sitting there on the couch still and you couldnt even tell that he had moved. In fact, had it not been for the tell-tale blare from the speakers. She wouldnt have known he had.

she gave him his cup, which he accepted half-heartedly, and resumed her spot on the couch. Tucking her legs up underneath her, she watched him, trying toi guess his mood.

He wasnt mad. That much was certain. Alex was not quiet when he was mad. No, he was one of the most vocal people that she knew, regardless of the situation. Sad maybe. But she'd only seen him sad a couple times, not nearly enough to tell what was bugging him. And she knew that something definitely was.

He played with the rim of his mug, tracing the curve with one finger. She stared at him over the top of her own mug, which she had pressed to her lips. the steam from it was starting to fog her glasses, but she paid it no mind.

"Your carpet is really ugly." he said finally, startling her. Even though shed been staring at him this whole time, shed almost forgotten he was there. It was like staring at a painting.

"You helped me pick it out, remember?" she replied, thanking every god she could think ofthat hed finally spoken. Now if she could onlyt get him to stop burning holes on the floor.

"Is that yogurt?" he asked, eying the white dot from earlier. She grinned.

"Probably. Jordon's a pretty messy eater." she lied, knowing full-well what that white spot was. She'd thought she'd cleaned it all up, but she didnt think to look so far away. One more amazing talent her boyfrined had.

"Im gonna pretend that i didnt just see you smirk and continue to believe that its yogurt to spare my innocent mind." he said, smiling despite himself. Jamie choked back a laugh. There was no getting past Alexander Saint. Quick little bastard he was.

First thing that came to her mind was "Innocent? Really?" but she bit her tongue. Alex hated it when people judged him like that. He really did. So she watched what she said. Nothing was worth seeing that pain in his eyes.Others can joke about him, but she wont. Once you know the truth its hard to pretend that you dont.

He fell silent again and she sighed, vision obscurred by her own breath clinging to the lenses of her glasses.

The tension in the air was almost palliple and she hated it. She was seconds away from calling him on his odd behavior when he spoke again. probably predicting where she was about to go and attmptingto steer clear of the conversation.

"Where's Jordan?" he asked, moving his gaze from the carpet to his mug as he shifted it from side to side, swirling its contents and watching them carefuly. He did not want to meet her eyes.

"Shopping. His niece's birthday is coming up and he needed to get her a present."

"WHy didnt you go with him?"

"I wanted to stay and work on my drawing." she said, shifying her wieght again.

"Im sorry. I didnt mean to disrupt you. Ill leave if you want me to." he said, standing up quicly and setting his cup down on th nearby coffee table. He was halfway to the door when Jamie finally registered his movement.

"Whoa, whoa. Alex. Babe. you dony have to go. I never said that." she said, getting up and walking after him. he turned to her, their eyes catching again. His were glinting. Alive with some unknown emotion. he smiled at her. A small, sad smile. A lonely one.

"Nah, I should go. Ive got stuff to do anyway." and just like that he was gone.

Jamie stood there, not entirely sure what just happened. A moment passed and the realization hit her. Alex had come to her for a reason. Not just the traditional " i wanted to see you" or even the random dance parties he made her participate in. He'd needed her and she'd just let him go. She didnt fight for him. She just watched him leave.

It was at that moment, standing there in the doorway like an idiot that she realized just what hse had done.

And she was no better than everybody else.

I is so booooored...

So, I'm sitting at home, bored out of my mind. You have no idea.

I stayed home from school today, completely on accident. Last night, after not sleeping for like 30 hours, i crashed and was out of it until my grandpa called me this morning telling me i needed to hurry up...Needless to say, i didnt have enough time to get dressed, so i just stayed home. And MY that was a bad idea...>.>

So i sat home and got on MSN. i've been talking to KJ for a little bit. and Brookesany's BF Andrew, but im still boreddddddd.D:

i need something to occupy my time...But there is NOTHING...Grrrrrrrrrr

Soooo, last night, I got to talk to my favorite Mormon for the first time. It was pretty amazing, not gonna lie. He uses proper Grammar/Punctuation, which is a MAJOR step above Giggles. I like him, but then again, I always have. <3 But it's different to actually talk to him. =D

I hope i can talk to him again later today, if Giggles gets on, i can ask for Mormon's MSN, if not....then i'll have to wait. ):

But yeah...Hopefully, some time later i'll be lucky. In more ways than one. lol.

Guess what?

I GOT THE NOMINATION!!!!!!!

Homingcoming Attendant

I am running to be the Junior Class Attendant this year, and I REALLY want it. Its not because its like every girls dream or anything, just because I think it would be reallllllllly hilarious! I mean, think about it, normally, who gets things like that? Skinny Prep Bitches. What am i not? A Skinny Prep Bitch. I think that the Chubby Freak getting it would be so unexpected that it would be GREAT!!!

I've been going around all day telling people they need to nominate/vote for me, and will continue to do so until we vote/nominate sometime...i think next week. SO i should have enough time to get a decent amount of people. To get the nomination i only have to have more collective votes than most other students, which, at least i hope, be easy. Then after that me (if i get it) and the other nominees (i think around 5 all together) will be voted on. If i get it, i swear i'll die laughing at the sheer EPICNESS of this WIN.

Im telling you...

Its time to turn this school upside down.

Freaks ftw!

Fo Sho

~rei out~

The Band...

Is...um...not going so well.

Stephanie moved, so we're down to just me and Brookesany...*sigh* Jennifer wants back in, which I REALLY don't want happening. She will do nothing but cause drama. I'm sorry. But if she seriously gets upset over some Skittles then I just can't do it. We should make a no drama rule in the band with a subscript of 'Don't take anything personally and exp. don't take Jessica seriously'. I think that would work...hmmm....

We need to get together sometime and decide which songs to cover and junk and make a decision about Korie. Talk to Rader about songs. And organize some type of audition for our now completely open guitarist position(s). Grrr. This is getting on my last nerve. I'm too busy this year, I swear.

Maybe if we actually figure out what songs we're doing and all that I'll feel better about the band. I hope. I have some pretty big dreams and those aren't gonna happen if the band dies already...I don't even know anymore...


Fo Sho

~rei out~

YAY!!!!

I GOTZ MEH NEW HARVEST MOON GAMEEEEEEE!!!!! WH00T!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sick

And it sucks...:(

Love Life Update

So far i've managed to avoid Hunter asking me out, wish is good, but i'm still worried about it. I figure if i simply avoid being alone with him like the plague, i should be fine. He wont have the cajones to ask me out while others are around....Hopefully.

The guy that i mentioned in that last post about my love life? Yeah, thats NOT gonna happen. Oh well. Plenty of other fish in the sea and all that jazz.

Speaking of other fish, i think i've caught myself a big one. And hopefully, he'll be a keeper.

His name is John and i've known him for over a year now, and ive always kinda had a crush on him, but it didnt really come out till this weekend. We flirted like CRAZY and i swear i almost kissed him, but somehow managed not to. Next time. ;) IDK, i'll be hanging out with him friday if i go to that Techno thing (which i SO will cuz techno makes me happy in the pants) so maybe we'll flirt somemore...Yeah. We totally will.

Oh, and Rader sat on Brookesany's lap. She's beside her self with joy. Its kinda cute. She's quite smitten with him. And i LOVE messing with her. Stephanie asked him to go to prom with Brookesany. We all jumped her, cause we planned on doing the smae thing once B was a skinny bitch with me. Jumping the gun will ruin the plan... But it WAS funny watching the looks on B and rader's faces. I laughed.

Oh! And evidentally, John, Andrew, me, and i think maybe Rader all shaved out junk that day! Haha! Kindred Spirits, i'm tellin ya. <3

But yeah, thats my latest in the love department. Updates yet to come.

Fo Sho

~rei out~

Band Meetings.

Okay, so we REALLY need to get into this band thing. Seriously. I am gonna FORCE them
to have a band meeting next week. Tuesday. After school. Seriously. We are gonna bring band stuff and we are gonna write songs and junk. Maybe we can have a meeting this weekend, like, Saturday afternoon or something, that way i know Steph can come. We are the Original Three, after all.

Charlie is trying to get back with the band...And as much as i miss him, i know that it wouldnt be a good idea. He would never go to practices. Cause Drama (something i have a feeling we're going to have enough of...). and probably just be a nuesance all the way around... I don't want that. I worry Brookesany is gonna give up on the band, and i have a feeling he would push her over the edge. Less Than Three is my ticket, damnit. I wont let that little queen ruin it for me. Not after everything else he's ruined in my life. Funny how much i can hate the first person i ever fell in love with, huh? If you had asked me about him a year ago i would have told you we were gonna get married and live forever. It's true. Despite everything i say about love, i know i loved him...IDK...Maybe I'll make another post about it or something later...Grr...

But anyway! Yeah. I need to work on my new song, "Ballad of a Self-Proclaimed Whore" so i can bring it to the next band meeting so we can work on it and junk. And we need to work on Dr. Livingstone as well. Yay songs related to world history!!! =D


We should also maybe try working on Expecto in the Shower, so we can come up with the Dance for it. It had better be awesome!!! thats all i have to say. I am very excited.

Fo Sho


~rei out~

The Thief and the Cobbler

OMG, I F**king LOVE this movie!!! I have been waiting to get it since i was like SEVEN and it is my all time favorite movie of all time EVER!!! The thief is my new role model, i swear, he should be president.

I HATE my life...

Gah! My life, generally sucky, even by teenage angst standards, has just seemingly taken a plunge into far darker territory.

It seems that misery does indeed love company and has brought its WHOLE family with it this time and is sitting in on my love life. And all of this is happening since i broke up with Brittany! Its just crazy!!!

First off, Hunter, one of my best friends since the fourth grade, is finally scraping up the balls to ask me out, and it couldnt be at a worse time! I am TERRIFIED at the idea of dating him, you know. I have to be the only teenager in the world who wont date someone cause they like them too much. I dont even get it myself, but i'm pretty sure its due to the fact that i KNOW if we start dating, we wont stop. And i dont want that. I dont want LOVE yet. that thought scares me. I'm only 16 damnit, i dont want it to be over like that! WHich doesnt make sense. Most girls my age are all lovey dovey and want nothing BUT the love of their life, and i'm purposly avoiding mine. I'm not ready. It makes me feel all old and grown up. Like thats one more responsability i'll have to have. I already have to get a job and learn to drive and all that crap and i DONT want to. The real world scares me. i just wanna remain the way i am. Having fun with my homies, working on the band, stalking random people. LOVE is NOT on the list. GAH!!!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO TELL HIM!!! I dont want to hurt his feelings, i mean, come on, the guy's been in love with me since middle school, there is NO way to let him off easy....damnit all to hell and back in a hefty bag!!!

I have some new prospects this year and i want to play them out to the best of my ability. Theres Matt of course, but he's just a big whore. There's a grl in my science class i like, and i'm not even sure if she swings that way, i think i'll ask after we become closer. Theres Kiah, whom i've been subtly hitting on lately. and thats just to name a few.

And to top it all off, i have a HUGE crush on this guy, who happens to be dating someone. We talk about her all the time, and he has like relationship MPD or something. One moment he tells me he likes this other girl who just becoem single (no, not me, sadly) and he's thinking about breaking up with his gf, the next he says he loves her more than anything, and he's changed his mind. He says that he knows when she's gonna cheat on him, and that shes one of the meanest people, then he'll talk about how awesoem she is. I honestly dont know what to do! I like him, i do. And i KNOW that i would be SOOOO much better for him than she is, considering all that i know about her. but i cant really do anything without upseting people. GAH!

Diifuculty freaking loves me...i swear... I cant handle this shit, i should just become a Nun or something...

Fo Sho

~rei out~

GSA

Oh meh gawd...this GSA thing is really taking it out of me...Who knew there was so much freakin planning and to do? Seriously. I have been working on the website/myspace/facebook group for this thing for the past couple days now. Not to mention gathering information, planning the meeting, reading up on LGBT stuff, thinking about a fundraiser so we can REALLY participate in Ally Week, and that's just the beginning...Gah! It's driving me mad.

I have been up since like 3 something this morning working on this and i really haven't gotten as much done as i would have liked, but whatever. I'm pretty sure i got the basics for the first meeting down, which will have me more or less set for the next week or so, at least that's a load off. But now I've got to go about planning the picnic I've been thinking about so that i can get ideas for fundraising and gather more members...I'll probably have another post about that later.

But i guess despite all the hectic running about and planning and worrying I've been doing, I'm still UBER excited. I have been looking forward to this since end of freshman year, this is a big thing! I'm besides myself with happiness. Though you cant really tell with all the ranting I've been doing. ah well. Like i said, it'll be worth it.

So yeah. I'll post more later along with a quick post about the picnic and what not. Should Be good times.

Fo Sho

~rei out~

First Day Of School

Okay, so despite my VERY self-explainatory title, this blog is about my 1st Day'o'schoolage.

I still cant get past the fact that i'm a juinor...I feel old...Like...i'm gonna have to have responabilities and stuff soon..and i dont wanna..I guess the idea of growing up never hit before now, and to be quite honest it terrifies me. All my little teenage dreams, like being famous for my band and junk, are starting to slip away and i realize that i'm gonna have to get a job and eventually start living in the real world...And i'm not ready...

But on a lighter and slightly more awkward note, i DID talk to the Soup today, just like i promised myself i would. I walked in to his class and was all weird and told him how i missed him and junk. i think i scared him...then i started talking (more like rambling on endlessly) about stuff over the summer and making painful small talk. I wanted to kick myself in the face by time i was done...seriously, i was almost RELEIVED by the bell...but i still missed him over the summer, fer realz.. I thought about him all the time. and i am HAPPY that i have to repeat his class not that i failed mind you, (you'd be surprised what being in love with the teacher will do for your grades) but becuase i missed a lot of school and didnt get the credit. That'll pretty much be my last chance to seduce him save for the hallway and my pety attempts at being casual...Hmm, who knows whats going on anymore...

Dude, Hunter--like, one of my BFF's(and crush) since the 4th grade-- got hot over the summer. Ok, maybe not liek drop-dead gorgeous or anything, but he looks...GOOD. seriously...i was shocked and had to do a double take...it was interesting...

I think Matt is still interested in me, we flirted like all day, it was...nice i guess. I like flirting with people who flirt back, it makes me feel good about myself.


Gotta find out about the GSA stuff, get together with B and plan stuff....hmm, busy busy, but i'm looking forward to it. Made a website and everything. shoudl eb sweet.

Well, i'm gonna go read Snarry, so i guess i'll blog laterz.

Fo sho

~rei out~

The Road to Stardom...Via Youtube?

So, me and Brookesany have decided on a way to be famous, via youtube. We're going to start a youtube series called White Chocolate and Karamel, a comedy about two time traveling detectives.

I will be playing the part of White Chocolate, a 30something year old man with a pimpalicious afro and aviators who, with the help on his sexy assistant and love interest, Karamel (played by Brookesany), travels throught out the ages and fights crime. [which reminds me, i need to buy a large white suit and some glitter to make his kick ass retro persona]

We figure, gather a big enough fanbase with this and have people subscribe to our channel, then, once we get the band going and what not, subtly slip in some music videos we did and have people be all like, wtf, whats this? A band? A totally awesome band. And they'd be all like, I'd tap that. And it would pwn all. After that its only a matter of time before we're discovered and BAM, sexy parties with Pete Fucking Wentz. =D

So yeah, thats what we're planning, and that's how i see it.

Fo sho.

~rei out~

Less Than Three <3

Okies, so, Less Than Three is my totally kick ass band. We haven't been around long so we dont have any music posted anywhere, but the moment we do, i'll post a link. We're gonna be the next big thing, believe it, so you;d better be watching out for us.

We're kinda in the same catagory of music as FOB and Panic, but we prefer not to consider ourselves an emo band, but no doubt there will be some narrow minded people who will label us as such. Stereotypes suck, get over it. But if that happens, whatever, hopefully our true fans will have more brains and not think us to be synonymous with 'emo', but more so wiht "awesome".

We're a serious band with a few not so serious songs, we like parodies, so you'll probably see at least one of those. We're random and you never know what we're gonna do next, which keeps it interesting, i'd say. Predictability is pretty much the same thing as boring, and who wants that?

So far the band consists of:

Me: Lead vocals, co-lyricist, keyboards
Brookesany: Lead lyricist, bass
Stephanie: Rythym guitar.

We THOUGHT we had a drummer, an adorable little emo boy for whom Brookesany has the hots for, but, unfortunatly, he is also in 4 other bands and probably wont have time for us. But we'll lure him back in, i'm almost sure of it. We're still looking for a lead guitarist, but we figure since the three of us dont have a ton of natural talent ourselves, we'll practice, get better, and become a whole hell of a lot more organized before we worry about that.

I have a feeling that the actual composition of the music will be the most chalenging part of the band. I am hopeless when it comes to playing by ear, so i honestly dont know what the eggplant im gonna do...Grrr, i guess we'll figure something out.

We WILL have sexy parties with the bands of DecayDance, just you wait and see.

Fo sho.

~rei out~

Why am I blogging?

I honestly don't know why I started a blog, considering that I most likely won't stick with it. I am a horrible procrastinator. No joke or exaggeration there. Case in point, my fanfiction account. Last time I updated a fic? Last October. Yup, nearly a year ago, and it'll probably be a while until I even consider writing again. And that's one of my biggest dreams, to be an accomplished author. If i keep this up, i can kiss that dream goodbye. =[

But whatever, I'll try to stick with it, at least for a bit. Not gonna lie though, i'll probably forget i even have this by tomorrow...hehe...yup...