I hate my fucking life right now...

I don't even want to have the party.

I wanna just sit at home, alone, and cry my eyes out, like I've been doing all morning.

But I cant, because I have no way of contacting ashley or sabrina to tell them the party's been canceled. So, it looks like another night of lies and fake smiles. Joy.

And the drinking begins!

Lets see how fucked up I can get before the night is over, shall we?

2nd post of the morning!

Yey! 2 consecutive posts in less than 20 minutes! Go me!

So, I cleaned some last night...>.> Well, I almost got it done...kinda.

I got distracted and teh next thing I know its like 9 and im sleepy, so i stop.

I should have it finished tonight.

Not that I have any other choice. I have to have it cleaned by tmrw night or else my bday party (if i survive past tmrw) will have to be canceled. And I cant have that. Ill cry.

But I WILL get it done...eventually.

Q.Q

I fucking hate life right now.

Ugh.

So, today I woke up like 30 minutes before I had to leave, took a shower, and decided that today would be my "I-dont-care" day. You know, when you just wear whatever and you could give three shits about your make up and how you look. See, i do this quite often. Get the idea in my head and then try to run with it. yeah. well.

i hate life.

My I dont care days always turn into my why the fuck didnt i care days and my whole day is uined because i look icky, therefor I feel icky. I'm already at that point and its only...7:25 AM. FUCK ME.

I look like...doodie.

No lie.

-cry- -angst- -cutcut-

T-T

whoa.

First time I've been on my compy in AGES. wow. I hate this piece of shit. Cant wait till I get the new one. Ah well, this one has served me well these past couple of years. I guess I really cant complain. <3

On a random note: See that picture? ^ The One at the top of the page?

Yeah.

EPIC.

Anyway.

School is going pretty well. All my classes are pretty cool and everybody loves me (xD) so all is good there. Only thing I really have a problem with is Home Maintainance. Fucking boring as hell, and im the only girl there. Talk about sausage fest. -eye roll- fucking freshmen boys....>.> gah.

Well, easy credit i suppose. It could be worse.

COUNT DOWN. T MINUS TWO DAYS UNTIL ULTIMATE DOOM. Q.Q

-dies-

Blog

So im sitting next to brookesany. Its early and we're waiting for everyone to show up for the meeting this morning.

Pete's mustache smells like dog, but it's hella sexy and bitchin'. WURD. Im so jealous and so is brookesany.

I wish i was in pajamas right now. Like Nicole. Lucky bitch.

Pete's talkin bout oranges. Fucking mexican. Now i want oranges. GDI.

End post.

Mah.

Its been forever since I've been online. Okay, its been like what...3-4 days? Not the point. It feels like forever. And sometimes the way it feels is worse than the reality.

Whoa. Where did that piece of EMO come from?

-shakes head-

anyways

I'm sitting in the library at school, bored and blogging since I've nothing better to do. Ah! The joys of being like the 1st one in school every morning. <3 I love it!

No.

I don't.

I lie.

Being at school this early bites. It makes me wonder why I bothered coming back. I could be sleeping right now...>.> Dreaming of House or more cracked out dreams about...Certain people that we will not mention at this time. xD

Anywhozer.

I cant really think of anything to blog about.

I want to dance.

Really bad,

Its driving me crazy with the urges. Q.Q

-dances crazily-

Okay, now that THATS out of my system.

I still cant think of anything to blog about.

OH! I'm getting a camera soon! YEY! Its a camcorder PLUS a digital camera and like voice recorder and just about everything else you can think of. I'm pretty sure it hold music too. Not too sure, but still. I'm hella excited about it! I've wanted one for so long. My life is almost complete.

Well, you know. Until it ends this friday. T_T

I'll spend my birthday alone in my room crying and getting drunk off vodka and grape drank. Im serious. Those are my plans.

Well, cant be any worse than my New Years. At least this time I'll have alcohol, right?

Anyways.

I'm out of shit to blog about without it getting crazy emo up in here.

So I guess I'll be on my way.

~rei out~

Ready for your surprise?

its...

ME!!!

Thats right! I am back in school baby! That's actually where I am right now. Arent you all so excited that I've returned from the realm of darkness otherwise known as my bedroom?

No more days of being a shut in for me. No sir. I wont fuck it up this time. 3 months of no school (or more importantly, limited social time) has made me realize how stupid I was for fucking it up to begin with.

PLUS. I dont have to take any core classes. Thats means NO math. Im so happy...-wipes tear from eye- its a beautiful thing.

But anyway. Yeah. Thats it. thats your lovely gift. (and quite a splendid one, if I do say so myself) ENJOY!!!

Rei is back with a vengeance,


Fo sho.

I've got a surprise...

For all of my friends! Tomorrow you'll receive it and BOY is it amazing! You'll love it. Fer sure.

In other news. I updated last night! Thats right! Chapter 6 of The Promise He Kept is UP! I've already gotten a fair amount of reviews in the less than 24 hours its been posted. I'm happy about that. Exp when I take a long time to Update...>.>

Evidentally, Im not the only one who has oticed my horendous spelling and I now have a Beta. Yukinokara, one of my old and faithul readers, has agreed to Beta my ficcy, so hopefully my spelling will be less...sucky. -nervous laugh-

yeah....

Well, we'll see, wont we?

~rei out~

PS: OMFG...its the 22nd...8 more days. EIGHT. Thats it. All the time I have left to live before I retire to the life of an old spinster. T_T Whyyyyyy? -sobsob-

Where I Stood.

Lovely song.

The all night adventures of Asian and Bewbie!

I had so much fun with the asian last night.

Oh em jesus I love her. <3 She came over after M@TM and we hugh out. Ended up pulling an all nighter. Which, considering that i ended up not sleeping for 42 hours straight, nearly killed me. When she left this morning I crashed and was dead to the world until about an hour ago. I need sleep. I'll never do that again. EVER.

But we did have hella fun. We talked and caught up (its been way too long). We danced. We bitched. We danced some more. We drank just about everything in my house. We danced. We bitched some more. (there was a LOT of that). It was a trip down memory lane with nothing more than a mango, some condoms, and a very long list. Good times. Good times.

As mentioned earlier, we went to M@TM, which was...Okay, i suppose.

It was a Renae show, so that made it worth while all in its own, but the night...lacked luster for the most part. I dont know, I guess it was because I was so tired. I didnt want to move at all and my eyes kept watering and fucked my make up to hell. But otherwise it was a nice night. I got to hang with Steph and Asian, so that was fun. I saw tiny!matt, whom i havent seen in forever. I Screwed around with Jade (love that kid) and Rollie for some of it. Hell, i even fucked around with the Bassist in Renae! It was pretty cool. He's a funny guy. xD

No molesting. But there were reasons, so no biggie.

Its funny how in the over 12 hours we spent togetherthe asian and i never talked about WC&K scripts and ideas. xD Oh well, we're hanging this weekend as well, so we might eventually get around to it. >.> What? It could happen.

So, basically, all's good in the hood, yo.


PS: I discovered that, at an angle, brookesany looks like Ronnie Radke...It freaked my shit. o.O

Mehhhh.

I'm bored. So very very bored.

I've been on myspace for hours and I'm still bored as fuck. But, I have like 50 new friends to show for it. Heke. xD So I guess its not a total loss.

Still bored though.

Oh well.

Imma go watch House.

<3<3<3

Soooo, I'm running out of names for my random posts...>.>

Anyway. Havent updated on my life in a while, I guess I should...

Hmm, where to begin.

I'm supposed to hang out with Hika-chan tomorrow if the whether permits. We had to cancle last time because she got snowed in. Climates dont like me much, or so I've noticed. Lets keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

Because if the whether doesnt improve before this weekend, Andyroo might not be able to come down and that would hella depress my asian. Q.Q Nuuu. Sad Brookesany is...Well, sad.

Speaking of, we're having a WC&K meeting saturday. Stephanie has agreed to help out and we're thinking of pulling Nick along for the ride. He's a good camera man, we can totally exploit him.


I'm tired and I dont feel good at all. I think Im getting sick and it sucks. -sniffle- its because of the fucking sub zero temps that have been plaguing Keokuk the past couple of days. It has to be. But then, i havent been feeling well for a while now. I think Something threw me off balance. Fucked up my chii and what not. I've just felt very off all week. Like I'm missing something. Hmm. Oh well. Im sure that feeling will subside eventually.

Have you ever been annoyed by music? I havent really been able to listen to music lately since it always seems to get on my nerves. I wonder why? Normally i play music all the time. I love music, so this sudden annoyance I get is odd. God damn Chii.

I also havent written songs in a while. Well, at least not a whole one. Ive got a bunch of pieces of songs written down or recorded, but I need to work on finishing one.

Speaking of music. Icon For Hire plays again Feb. 21st at M@TM. Im so excited. I love that band. Best one to ever play there. I cant wait. Plus, their lead singer, Rel, is totally fucking hot.<3

I'm trying to go back and clean up all my old posts. Ones that I dont need or are too agnsty. -eye roll- angst is SO last year. lol. yeah. But that will fuck up my post numbering which means my big 50th post rant will be severerly misplaced. o.o oh noes.

I watched CSI today. it was Grissom's final episode...Q.Q I cried. Gil Grissom is the first "older gentlemen" i ever had a crush on. He started the crazy obsession that is Jessica. What ever will I do without him?D: First Sarah leaves. Then the guy who played Warreck went to jail for drugs. The actor who plays Jim Brass croaks and now Grissom leaves? WTH. That show has suffered too many losses. I doubt it will last much longer. I know i wont be watching it anymore. It just wont be the same.-shakes head-

I'll just stick to watching House. <3

OMG

I got my eye shadow palette today...>.>It is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. Q.Q Im serious.

I'm in love.

<3<3<3


~rei out~

White Chocolate and Karamel: The Countdown

And so the countdown begins! Its only a matter of time before WC&K finally hits YouTube and, I dont know about you, but im HELLA excited!

Of course, there are still a few kinks that need to be fixed. Like complete background of the characters, theme song, and he costumes, but that can all be taken care of pretty easily, so dont worry.

Speaking of, our theme song (or at least what we have of it) is totally BA. no lie.

I'll keep everyone posted, so be on the look out blog peoples!

<3

~rei out~

Matsu Wa (I'll wait): W

This is an absolutely lovely song. Q.Q Almost made me cry even before I read the english lyrics (With my basic knowledge of Japanese i was able to get some of it, but not the whole song) and then i actually checked with what they were really saying and i was all like Q.Q! Good song by a good duo. I love W. they will be missed.

I used to always pretend to be cute and people said

I tried too hard

Back then living was hard

Our love comes and goes,

always passing each other by

That we would someday, somewhere be joined

Is my eternal dream

The wide, blue sky doesn't belong to anyone

The clouds fluttering in the breeze

Drifting along

I'll wait, I'll wait forever

Even if you don't turn around

I'll wait, (I'll wait)

I'll wait forever

Until the day someone else dumps you

It's sad how with you,

I'm always A joker with no need for tears

I can easily bluff my way through

But when I'm alone,

I quietly cry

No one can see my heart

But I wanted you at least

To understand I'll wait,

I'll wait forever

Even if you don't turn around

I'll wait, (I'll wait)

I'll wait forever

If I can at least look at you I'll wait,

I'll wait forever

Even if you don't turn around

I'll wait, (I'll wait)

I'll wait forever

Until the day someone else dumps you

Denial Quote

Okay, so i just got done reading this lovely House, M.D. Fanfic called denial. Basic rundown:

Chase falls in love with House and is afraid that House will hurt him so he suddenly stops talking to House and does everything in his power to avoid him and naturally House is..Well, i wouldnt say upset or confused as much as he is intrigued, so he sets out to figure out what the hell is up with chase because secretly he wants Chase too. So, after an arguement and some feelings shared, the two agree that their relationship wont be all flowers and love letters and give it a whirl and live happily ever after and whatnot.

Anyway, here's a paragraph in it that really spoke to me, so I thought I'd share it with all the blog peoples.

What you feel for him isn’t the stuff made in fairytales. There are no happily ever afters and you don’t have the sudden urge to fucking dance just because you are in love. Instead you feel a mixture of longing and hate and something else you can’t identify. And it fucking hurts, just like it’s supposed to because being in love isn’t all about sunshine, puppies and rainbows.

Isnt that lovely? I thought it was. And i found it very fitting. I feel like that myself sometimes.

Love bites, kiddies.

Get used to it.

<3

Our Songs

So, whilst in bed this morning, refusing to get up because imma lazy bum, i started thinking about all my friends and so i decided to make this post. Basically, its a list of my friends and the songs that make me think of them!



NOTE: I dont remember half of the singers or even some of the song titles. But you get the idea.



Brookesany: Honestly, we sing way too much for us to just have one song, but if I had to choose, it would have to be the Emo Kid song by Adam and Andrew. Its one of the first songs we ever sang together back when we became friends. Ahhh, good times.



Ashley: When the Day met the Night- Panic at the Disco. Yeah, i totally got her hooked on Panic during UBSP. Ha! We used to argue about this song all the time. But it was her favourite from the CD, so i always think of her when i listen to it.



Sabrina (AKA Chuke): Boom Boom Boom- Aqua??? IDk, maybe, but yeah. Good times in freshman year when we were the BoomBoom Twins. xD



Wolf: Hagane No Kokoro-Romi Paku. Q.Q I miss her and her crazy.



Charlie: Here we go again-Paramore. I dedicated this song to him after our "break up" and some times i think it still fits.



Stephanie: FSCENE8-The Medic Droid. Oh the fun we had blaring this in her car.



Billy: What What in my Butt-?. xD



John: Homecoming-Hey Monday. We sang this together at Jade's. It shocked me that he even listened to Hey Monday, better yet knew the words. I guess there's a lot about Johnathan that i dont know. HE never ceases to amaze.



Jade: Hmm, not a song as much as a band and not even the band as much as the way he spelled it. Panic at the Disko. With a K. yeah. I love jade.



Korie: Low (Apple Bottom Jeans)-Some black rapper (they all sound the same to me) We used to be hardcore gangster in her car to the song. Q.Q



Hunter: Hate Me-Blue October. Really, anything by them reminds me of Hunter. He loves that band.



Rader: Dance Dance-Fall Out Boy. xD



Carrisa: Love Will Leave You Cryin-?. Ah, to be you, supid and in love.



(He who must not be named): Where I Stood-Missy Higgins. Q.Q Okay, so mayeb it doesnt fit us entirely, but its close enough.



YumYum: Mouse Chu Mouse-?. GAH! He always used to get that song stuck in my head! Bastard.



Grant: Im Fat-Weird Al. BEST FAT GUY EVER.



Fat Matt: Zelda's Lulaby-Zelda. He used to play it for me on his Ocarina. I miss him.



Hair Matt: Barber and His Wife: Sweeney Todd. It creeped me out to have him sing it to me, but at the same time, i loved it.



Brittany: You are the one-HelloGoodbye. (I think) what a night.



Ethan: I wanna kiss you all over-?. Dont even ask.



Standard and Andrea: Big girls dont cry-Fergie. lol, i love UBSP.



Kenny: walls(?)- Serg Tankian. ( i think). Kenny is me if i was really tiny and had a penis.



Jeremy: Cupid Shuffle-? OMG, i miss him so much. He never taught me th dance to this song, damn him!



Jared: Kelsey-Metro Station.



Archuleta: TIme Warp-RiffRaff and Magenta. HA!



Chelsea: Aint no mountain High enough-?. xD



The UBSP Girls: Fer Sure-Medic Droid and Damaged-Danity Kaye. Good times.



Andyroo: Rocket Man-Elton John. xD



Nick: No song, but the word Cabbage reminds me of nick. And so do Koala bears. o.O



Cat: Kesegi-?. it reminds me of Sin High, which, by default, reminds me of Cat.



Weston (okay, so maybe we're no friends anymore. Sam edifference to me) I beleive in a thing called love-The darkness. o.O yeah.

Hayden: My Humps-BEP


Okay, yeah. The list just keeps getting longer, so im gonna stop now before it takes over the blog...>.> But you get the general idea.

Sorry if i missed anyone!

Jaja!

Word Of The Day:

NAUGHTY.



Its a fun word. ;3 I dont know why, but, at the moment, the word naughty just tickles my chicken whenever I hear it.

It makes me wanna wriggle my eyebrows and speak dirty in a French accent all day.

Yeah. That's right.

I went there.

French.

My New Make-Up Fetish

Okai! So, as you all know, I've been watching a lot of make up tutorials on YouTube and junk and I have become pretty much obsessed with it lately. And, of course, every aspiring make up artist needs the tools of the trade. So, i have spent a good amount of time scanning the web and finding decent make up at an affordable price, and i have prevailed!


The above image is a picture of the 88 colour shimmer pallete from CoastalScents.com. I should be getting it soon, as it was shipped today. Im hella excited. <3 Look at it. Isnt it fucking gorgeous? Tell me you dont want to sex it up right now. I'm telling you, if i could, i'd make sweet sweet love sex to it. Fer sure.

Also, I just bought a couple items from Eyeslipsface.com or E.L.F. makeup, you know, just to try it out. If it proves to be a good investment, I'll end up buying a lot of make up from them. Everything there is hella cheap. Most of it is $1. WHich, if its even half way decent, is a great deal. Wal-Mart make up is cheap (in quality only) and cost like 8 bucks a pop. I might have stumbled onto something amazing. lol. xD

Of course, i owe both of these discoveries to MonroeMisfitMakeup. Without her, i would never have known the joys of internet shopping for beauty supplies. Q.Q Thank you, Jody. <3

What would you do if I were a canable?

(I'm pretty sure I spelt Canable wrong...>.> I have got to be the worst speller in the world. Without spell check I am nothing...)

Anyway! Time for another random blog! Yey!

*cue carnival muzak* do do dododo do do do dodo.

Okays! Sooo, first off. I love youtube. I do. I have spent most of my time these past couple days looking up vids online. Make up tutorials. Music videos. and other random junk. And i think im in love...

MonroeMisfitMakeup. If you've never heard of her or seen her videos, DO IT. You shouldn't be allowed to do any sort of make up if you havent seen her stuff. She's like my new God. I swear. Only bad thing is she only has 20 videos and i've already watched them all. But she is defi amazing. Serious talent here folks. No lie.

Best part? She taught herself! Talent like that shoudlnt be self learned. But it is. Thanks to a weird childhood spent with drag queens and club kids, Jody has taken make up to a whole new level. I've heard of make up artist, but i've never seen an ARTIST who specializes in make up before. I adore her.

Second person i have fallen madly in love with via youtube. TrayceShaw. He's this adorable little bisexual teenager who makes my heart smile. He goes from being a total goof one minute to a serious, deeply opinionated young man. This kid is choice. No lie. I watched him eat 3 feet of bubble gum and i couldnt stop laughing. Hes so effin cute. <3

ATM i'm not madly in love (via youtube) with anyone else. But if i do fall for someone i'll let you know.

Hmmmmmm.

You know what sucks? Cliffy sex. If you're a writer, please, for the sake of fangirls everywhere. DOnt leave off right before they are about to get it on. IT KILLS US. Gah! You have no fucking idea how much that sucks. CLiffies, i understand. They're all good clean authoress fun. But they're bad enough. Cliffy sex. NO GO. It makes me wanna punch small children. SO please. Think of children.

I found a dress that i used to wear back when i was younger. Its so cute and tiny and makes me smile on the inside.^-^ Makes me miss my youth.

I saw your name and my heart skipped. But my heart is clumsy and ended up falling, face first, and it got hurt.

I've found that their are some people i miss more since leaving school and it surprised me. The one i think i miss most that i never get to see anymore is Nick. I effin love Nick. He's such a sweet heart when he's not being a narrow minded dick hole. I should call him or something so we can hang out. That would be nice. Of course, i would have to have the asian over or something. As much as i love Nick and regardless of the fact that he's one of my bestest guy friends, being alone in my room with him might be wierd (Not because im afraid something might happen, i just know nick. He's a naturally awkward person).

I'm totally gonna get andrew and Brookesany in a three way. lol. xD

I'm getting a piercing! I wont say where, but its one I've wanted for a while. I'll have it hopefullu by next weekend and then i'll make another post about it. ^-^ I'm excited.

I have a date tomorrow. O.o I know right? Wth, i dont even like dating. Well, technically, we're not dating. I'm just going out on a date (as in ONE date) with this guy. And since its a double date with my ex (can you say awkward) it counts even less. We're going glo bowling. Ew. But whatever. I'm doing it for Brittany, not for myself. I mean, Cody is okay, yeah, but, he was my 4th grade crush. How weird is that? o.O Yeaaaah.

Another awkward thing about it? Well, my date's friday night, and saturday he'll prolly be at M@TM which means he'll be able to see me molest John. ...Yeah. I'm telling you, this could get bad. But whatev. I'm much fonder of John. (coughcough)

Hmm, speaking of saturday, I'm chillin with Brookesany, Andyroo, and Steph that day! yey! I need more friends that are true. Well, okay, i have plenty, i just need to hang out with them more often. O.o Yeah. But we should have tons of fun! Andyroo might rent porn and we'll play singstar and guitar hero and all kinds of awesome.

Which reminds me. I gotta call steph tomorrow.

Today. Whatever.

Hmmm, im trying to think of more things to blog about. But atm i cant....

Oh well, see ya round blog peoples!

Ja!

It's Been A While.

I finally got my room done. I started the 16th, finished the 3rd. And TECHNICALLY i'm still not done. I need to unpack everything, but i'm lazy. xD I know i really should get to that, and i will, probably this week, so i can have people *coughcough* over this weekend. Fuck Jade's house, its way too far to walk in this cold.



Speaking of, I chilled with John and Jade this weekend. A good couple hours at Jade's watching him blow people up and talking about pants. Lol. Im not lying. Evidentally John's new Zebra Print skinnies (OMFG, I WANT) have, and i quote, "Perfect Cock and Ball space" >.<>

Also speaking of this weekend, it was not all sunshine and butterflies in the world of Jessica.

My mother showed up.

Thats right, i havent so much as gotten a bday card from her in over 5 years and all the sudden she pops up at my house Saturday and wants to start over. Fuck that. I locked myself in my room and pretended to work on unpakcing when really all i did was be pissed. I partially blame my uncle. He's the one hell bent on getting everyone back together. I like my uncle mike, but sometimes he just doesnt get it. I hate her. She left me. She abandoned her 4 children for a man. She doesnt deserve any more chances.

But whatever, i did my laundry, fixed my make up (very nicely, might i add) and went out, completely ignoring her. and i had a great time hanging out with people. I miss being a part of the real world. It was nice to get out of the house for once.

PLUS, i had my first famous moment saturday night!

Okay, so, i was sitting there, i think it was right after Renae left, and these 2 girls came up to me and asked if they could take pics with me. It made me feel hella sexy. lol. No lie. I could totally get used to people feeding my ego. -hair flip-

Hmmm, what else what else?

its still cold as fuck. Even with the heater, iowa sucks. Q.Q I wanna move somewhere warm and happy. One day. I will. And i will never have to freeze again.

ladida. didida

yeah, i got nothin.

Oh well, until my life becomes more interesting, see ya around