Sitting in Zacks van. Watching the homos get all lovey dove y

Update:

Going to graduation with Lily tommorow. If I wake up. I know I didn't wake up today until about half hour before M@TM starts. Needless to say, I was late. But it was a good show, for the most part. I hung out with Carissa and Erin most of the night. Then I hung out with Morgan when it was over. It was good times. We decided that moths eat jizz. True fact. lol.

I recently got skype. It's pretty beastin for the most part. I get dropped a lot, but thats probs only cuz my compy sucks. Dx Oh wells, I can still talk to ppl. I can't wait until I get to talk to Cake. The bastard hasnt been on in forever. His interwebs died. Q.Q I miss my Christian. <3 him 4eva.

I'm going camping this coming weekend with Lily, Nick, Charlie, Trevor (ew) and possibly Zack. Should be fun. Most likely HAWT, but fun none the less.

Speaking of my little homo. He's supposed to spend a week with me this summer. We're gonna work on music stuff and just be awesome in general. I miss him sometimes. We never really get to hang out anymore. A week might be much, but still. Just kidding. I could handle a week with him. As long as my A.C. works. Otherwise, we might have problems.

I'm almost done watching Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebelion R2. Once i finish that series...I have no idea what I'll watch. I'm sure I'll find something. There's a shit load of shows on AnimeFuel.

I need to clean my room...but i dont want to. I hate cleaning my room, even though atm its not that bad. Still takes too much effort.

Cause I feel, the distance, between us, could be over, with a snap of your fingers.

I've started drawing again, and I've almost got the urge to write again. Which is good. Those are two things that have died on me lately. I think my Prozac is starting to work again, now that it's back in my system. It fucked me up there for a bit, but if i keep taking it like i am now, it should be good. Hopefully. This Emo Shits ridiculous. D:

I feel like dancing. :D

I think I will.

~rei out~

Sitting up

in my bedroom, aimlessly browsing the interwebs for some source of entertainment. I'm confused. I angry. And above all, I'm lonely.

I've been abandonned by those I love. as pathetic and melo dramatic as that sounds. I feel utterly helpless here. I'm going crazy here. Somebody should say hi.

GOD, why am i always so fucking EMO. god fucking fuck! AHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

^#$&**(@*#^$)@)($&$%)#(@)(*$(*)(*$#&&&$^!@&#&&#@^^#$^@&&***$^@(@)(*&$(*&Q^@^@*#*(_@_*@&%^%@#*^#$%^$%##&*@@!%#*#*((*&#)!)*(^#(*&!(&#*(^@$!&@)#^@%%!&*((@%#T!*(~_&@&(~`

WTF.

KTHXBAI

POST:

I'm sitting in the library, at school for the first time in nearly two weeks. Thunder is clashing violently outside, making me wonder why I even bothered coming. But then again, maybe it's just fitting for my mood.

I don't know why it effects me. I mean, it's not like I loved her or anything. Maybe it was because I've never misread someone so wrongly before. I can honestly say I never saw that one coming. I could just as easily blame him, but I won't. He never promised me anything. He was never my friend to begin with. They did it for the lulz. Hmm. Yeah, that was hilarious, alright.

I have a semi date this weekend. Casey and me are gonna hang out. IDK how much of a date that can be considered, therefor it becomes a 'semi date'. He reminds me of Cake. It's a bit creepy, but not in a bad way.

I miss Cake. I havent talked to him in days. With my compy dead, it'll prolly be a while. I could always send him an email someday when I'm at school. Maybe. Yeah, i will. Next week if I'm here.

I did not

hang out with John. Didn't want to. And I don't feel bad or dissappointed about it either. I'm like, whatever.

Instead, I stayed home by myself (since everyone had gone to visit family) and did nothing. Well, okay, I made some falafel (that wasn't too bad, i think I'm getting better at it), talked to some friends, and played with my new rat, Memo. (he's super cute)

I went outside for a bit too. Like I used to do when I was younger. I sat in my old spot like always and just did nothing. It used to comfort me when I was little. I would spend hours outside, alone, just talking outloud and playing make-beleive. Now, it just makes me realize how much has changed. I wish I could go back to those times, when my life was so much simpler. Now. Its too complicated. I can't stand it. Is it sad that I had a better friend in myself then?

I'm supposed to help my aunt garden today. I have to wait for my cousin to wake up so he can take me out there. I like gardening. I used to do that when I was little too.

Charlie is staying the night with me next saturday. We're gonna go to Sammy's graduation party then the re-opening of M@TM. I excited. I miss M@TM. Lonely saturdays sitting outside by myself just don't cut it anymore. xD

Kristen called me thursday night. We talked for about an hour. I figured it would have been awkward the first time we talked via phone, but it really wasn't. She told me she felt real with me, and that made me feel good. I like her. She's sweet. Preppy, ha, but sweet.

I would like to go to cali someday soon. I should get a job so I can save the money to go. I think it would be good to get away. I could meet ppl like cake and vamp, and hang out with Kristen all day. It would be nice. There would be no problems in California.

Summer is approaching. Quicker than I thought. I have no Idea what i'm gonna do all season. Maybe I'll write a book or something...Nah. I'll just hang with ppl and do what I always do. I could prolly hang with Casey if all goes well. I haven't seen him in a while. Maybe it's since I don't go to wal mart anymore. lol. Oh well. We'll hang out soon and it will all be good. Maybe I'll take him to Sammy's party. That would be cool. Maybe. If charlie didn't kill him...idk. I guess we'll see.

I'm starting to ramble now. I should probably go.

Okies, well, see you next time blog peoples.

Baiiiii

~rei out~

I've become a Coward.

I cry out, but no one hears me. And if they do, they don't care enough to respond. I feel pathetic and weak, and no one makes me feel any better. I need help right now, not ridicule. I need love and understanding, I need someone to just pat my back and tell me it will be okay. But no one will. WHy do I bother?

I've become something that scares me. I do things I always promised myself I wouldn't do. I think I'm losing my fucking mind and there's no one here to help me find it.

I keep trying. I keep failing. There's no point. They say the quickest way to get out of a hole, is to stop digging. But right now, I'm standing in a pit of quicksand. No matter what I do, I'll just continue to sink.

You only hear what you want to hear. Go on, live your life, pretend I never existed.

How less than a year can beat out forever, I'll never know.

The coast seems nice this time of year.

Pink's My Favourite Colour. :D

I love this man. Possibly my new fav web celeb. No lie. PhillyD is my hero.

TRUTH.

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

This song is really pretty

Even though I'm pretty sure--what with recalling the episode and the lyrics--that its about a girl who kills herself because the person she loved didn't return the feeling, its still a lovely song. I found it by accident and I remember That I always loved that episode of Danny Phantom. ^^

John called me again. This time we talked for like 20 minutes. He told me I should feel special. I did. :D. He amuses me, even if he is an asshole sometimes.

IDK, i think we might be hanging out this weekend. I have no idea. I guess He'll call me or something if he wants to. We'll just have to see.

Post

"The first thing to do to get out of a hole, is to stop digging."

This whole thing is just too much and I don't know how much longer I will be able to take it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE ASIAN!!! <3<3<3