Is it...

selfish of me to say I've changed my mind?
That maybe, just maybe, you mean more to me than what I say.
My words have never matched my thoughts.
Or my heart for that matter.
But I'm trying.
I'm working on it.

It's a long and tedious process,
But I am slowly building up whatever it is I need to do...
Whatever it is I need to do.
At this point I'm not sure.
Hopefully though, I will figure that out soon enough.

Is it sad that I feel this way?
Did you know I've never heard you so much as say my name?
I can't even imagine those words coming from your lips
and yet still they haunt me.
How does that even work?

You make me lie.
You make my words lose whatever meaning they once held
You make my heart stop and then start all over again.
I won't say I love you,
Because I don't.
And, if we keep this up,
I never will.
Or maybe I will without meaning to.
Who knows anymore.

I certainly don't.
If I did.
I wouldn't be here.
Sitting alone.
Thinking of you.

You confuse me more than anything else.
I don't know what you want.
I don't know what I want.
I just don't know anymore.

You could tell me.
You should tell me.
But you won't.
That would be too easy.
It would go against all your preset ways.

No.
Instead of making this simple for both of us you'll drag this out,
Run it straight into the ground and still keep going.
I'll keep dancing around.
Trying to please you
even If I know it won't have an effect.
I'll lie to you.
I'll lie to them.
I'll lie to myself.

Yeah. So my socks don't match.
Who cares?
Oh.
That's right.
You do.

Of course you do.
It's the only thing about me you do care about.

Thanks.