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"The first thing to do to get out of a hole, is to stop digging."

This whole thing is just too much and I don't know how much longer I will be able to take it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE ASIAN!!! <3<3<3

Gettin mah hurr did.

This song is super pretty. It's the opening to House M.D. and I love it.


I'm getting ready to Dye my hair again. I was supposed to do it for prom but since I didn't go I've kida put it off. Considering that I have a date tommorow, I thought I should get on that.


I haven't been sleeping much lately. I haven't been able to. Not since Saturday. I've been all out of it. I can't think and when I do my thoughts make me cry. I tell myself one thing then do something else completely. Honestly I just want it all to go away. Im out of vodka for now. I've nothing else to turn to. I hate this.

I need to work on my creative writing but I have no inspiration.
I need to work on a lot of things.
I'm failing everything now.
Everything is piling up.
And its getting heavy.

About 2 hours ago...john called me...so he could sing to me... I was so scared. O_o

Sitting at school

nothing to do. Bored. bored. bored.

Been up since one. Couldn't sleep even though I took 4 sleeping pills. Nothing seems to work. So i gt online and talked my mah homies from AF. I love them. So much.


Still and Dark got married. I was the ring bearer. Chat was the best man. And Light was the stripper. Minnie wasnt there. She would be so devistated if she found out. Still and dark were gonna e comsimate the relationship, but then she started kicking babies and whatnot so he feared for his p33ns life. Evidentally I owe them all nekkid pics of me....O.o Not gonna happen but whatever.

Imma convince Cake to come visit me. He lives in Cali. Light is gonna plan the trip for him. Lol. <3 cake.

The boys helped me pick out undies. Light wanted the Rockstar ones. Cake liked the Southpark ones. Since i like cake more i picked SouthPark. He was happeh but then light was sad...>.> Oh wells.

My day

I went to the reinactment with Lily today. I had to get out of this house and I thought about her. She managed to cheer me up and make me feel much better which is more than I can say for some people.

We hung out with Nick and Emily. I told ugly guys they were...well, ugly. I avoided the sunlight as much as possible and felt like a DIVA in my big scene kid shades. I bought a giant jawbreaker sucker and ate half of it. Then we went back to Lily's and hung out. I convinced her to text Nick, this guy she met at the Hamilton Prom. Now we have a double date for friday. Her and Nick, me and Nick's friend James. Lily says he's cute, but I have my doubts. Whatever. I'l lmanage so I can make Lily happy.


She told me i was hot. ^^ That made me feel good.



I still haven't looked at them yet. This secret is mine alone and I'm almost afraid that I can't bare it by myself. Its Ugly and its all my fault.